Hi all!
I think its safe to say that this pregnancy has been great and wonderful so far. Everyday I say thanks to God for allowing this amazing miracle to take place, and I still can't believe a human is forming inside of me, holy crap!
And before you keep rolling your eyes over my cheesiness, don't worry, reality set in over a week ago.
In a mere, quick 5 months, our precious miracle will be here.
Wait...what?!?!
Reality really struck over a week ago. It actually happened at Target. I went by myself to pick up a few items. I had to pee, so I went to the bathroom, decided to get a Starbucks after, and started to go through the racks and aisles, feeling peaceful and calm.
Then I heard it.
The screaming, the crying. One poor mom was struggling to appease her crying baby while trying to deal with her other two very small children. Another little one was throwing a fit over not getting a certain toy. I mean, we all know these scenarios.
Then, it hit me...
No more looong leisure Target trips unless I'm alone. The days of pacing the aisles and racks with zero time constraint will soon be over. Days of sleeping in, taking long showers, etc are all numbered. Don't get me wrong, I am OVERJOYED to be a mom. However, I realizing a big change is a-comin'.
Then to top it all off, yesterday one of my kid-less friends jokingly posted this picture on IG saying, "this why I am not having kids anytime soon."
I saw this picture and balked. Oh s--- (no pun intended) this could be my child! AHHHHHHHH!!!!! Pee, stinky poo and throw up will be a part of my life. The throw up part freaks me out the most. I can hardly stand myself throwing up. I know, I hear the mommy gene kicks in and you get over it. I am counting on that!
This is why I took my time (4 years) to become a mommy. Because of one word: CHANGE. You see, hubs and I have had a fast paced life. We were (still are) constantly on the go, doing things on a whim. If we decide to do at 10 pm movie, we do it. We would wine taste almost every weekend. We would spontaneously go out with kid-less friends, have fun dress up nights out in downtown, and we love(d) to travel. Our dream is to travel Europe and while that hasn't happened YET, we would still make it a point to do travels within the country and go on fun road trips. I loved our spontaneous life, because I knew once we had kids, things would have to slow down. This is why I took my time, and didn't rush babies.
It probably sounds like I am complaining/whining and I don't mean to. I probably sound very negative nancy like, and I'm not trying to be. I am just fully realizing that life is going to HUGELY change and yes, for the better. And yes, I know kids are 100% a blessing, its worth it, etc. I truly believe that, because I already love the snot out of my unborn child. I can't even begin to comprehend how I think I will feel once I hold him/her in my arms. I also understand we are very lucky, as I have known friends and family (even now) who are struggling with major infertility, and would kill to have a baby. I don't take this baby for granted. However, I am realizing what is to come! A lot of it is fear of the unknown, will I be a good mom, etc. I am still beyond thrilled and excited. I can't even wait to see his or her precious face, I can hardly stand it :). I did just need this post to express some slight worries and fears I'm having. I feel that this is a good outlet for me to get it all out, and get myself ready for this beautiful baby!
I'm certain I'm not the only one who had these fears the first time around...mommies, what were some of your fears?
Till next time!
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