Happy 10 months Rowan!

10 months.

WHAT?!?!?!



Omg people, I can't even handle that this kid is heading towards 12 months. I am in some serious denial about it. We are enjoying every second of this insanely fast journey!








Name: Rowan Decaris Potter

Rowan's age: 10 months old, 8.5 months adjusted age

Weight: Holy tank baby...she weighs  22.8 pounds. She is HEAVY and sturdy! To be honest, I'm going to be sad when her chubbies melt away! She is so yummy!!! 

Solids?  Yeppers! We are now heading into the ever so trendy baby led weaning. She especially likes chicken and let's be honest, pretty much everything else.

Clothing size: Gulp, size 24, even venturing in 2T for pants! Her summer bathing suit is even 2T! She can still fit into 18 months, but we are heading down the 24 m path. Wearing size 4 diapers!

Rowan milestones (for her adjusted age, 8.5months):

Sigh, I need to be honest here. I am really having hard time with these damn milestones. Rowan isn't crawling and quite frankly, she's not that interested. She also isn't pulling herself up. Now, I know y'all are going to say "relax" and "go by her adjusted age" but its hard when even some 6 month old babies I know are crawling, some 9 month babes are walking, etc. Her physical therapist doesn't seemed too concerned.  However, when it seems like EVERYONE around you is going above and beyond, well, one can't help but worry. It also doesn't help that this weekend 2 ladies around my mom's age asked why she isn't walking yet. UGH.

-Despite her not crawling, she definitely moves. She slithers, slides, rolls and moves backwards on her belly. She IS (at times) getting on her hands and knees, but doesn't want to really move forward.

 

-While Rowan may not be physical, she is SUPER verbal. Besides "mama" and "Dada" she says "nananana" for banana and also says (at times) "mo mo" for more. She says a BUNCH of other random blends and sounds that leads me to believe we may have a true talker pretty soon. This makes me feel better.

-Rowan is cutting 3 teeth in the top front!! Her first front tooth is almost out, as well as one next to it. Her other front tooth is starting to make its way. Poor babe is trying to be such a trooper!

-Rowan doesn't pull herself up yet, but we have been standing her up against things. She will hold on and stand for a good 15-20 seconds before she plops down. She LOVES it, as this is something new to her.

 

-Rowan is doing a really good job at grabbing small food objects. I think this is in part that she loves to eat!



-Rowan loves to "wrestle" with objects. We have some big blow up toys and she has a big dolly. SHe will climb on top of them, roll over them, pull them on to herself, etc. It is quite funny to watch!


-Rowan is starting to give high fives. So cute!

 

 Rowan loves: 

-Baby Einstein! Now, people get so freaking judgey about TV but this is the ONLY way Rowan will take her daily nebulizer treatments (more on that below).  She will joyfully scream anytime the beginning music comes on. Its so cute!


-loves mum mums and cheerios! HOLY CRAP. We created a monster! If we go out to eat, we have to have a good supply on hand as that makes her happy and preoccupied!


-loves to clap at everything!


-also loves to drink out of straws

Rowan doesn't like:

-waiting for anything. LOL. She is so impatient!



-being left alone for a second. Often, (like most parents) we just need to drop something off in the sink or go put something away. Well, this girl isn't a fan of being alone and will totally cry. Oh Rowan...



-Rowan is getting to the stage where she gets upset if you take something away, like oh you know, chewing the curtains, etc. She gets so mad!

New things/happenings this month:

-We celebrated our first Valentine's day with her! Nothing especially out of the ordinary but we gave her a present and had lots of snuggles! Hubs and I were able to go on a date which was so nice!

-Rowan got a UTI. It was awful! She had a super high fever with ZERO symptoms. She ended up with antibiotics which helped tremendously. It was nerve wracking!



-At one of her appointments, it was brought up that she always seems to have constant wheeziness. One of the doctors recommended that we do breathing treatments every morning with a medicine called Pulmicort. In short, it's like taking blood pressure medicine so you don't have a heart attack. This has changed our lives! She still seems a bit wheezy at times, but the true test was when she caught a cold this month. Normally, its big, dramatic and usually turns to bronchiolitis. HOWEVER...this time it was a tiny, plain, regular ol' cold. It was amazing! We are thankful for this treatment!



-We recently got into the crazy trend of baby reps on instagram. There is a huge wave of baby clothing/accessories shops on IG (basically like etsy on IG). Shops will then open up for baby brand representatives. You takecute, styled pics of your baby and enter them in these searches. If you are picked, you get free merch in exchange for photos they use for marketing. After 3 weeks, Rowan got picked to be a brand enthusiast for Her_Bowtique! Its a lot of fun but its work! I basically try to just take pictures of her during the weekend.

How is Rowan's spit up?: Practically non-existent!

 

Sleep:
Rowan is on a great nap and sleep routine. It took work in the beginning but it paid off! And yes, I am furiously knocking on wood. I am SO thankful. I know a lot of babies even her age don't sleep through the night.

Rowan's personality so far: 
Rowan is Miss Personality. She is so sweet, joyful and loveable. She is also a major firecracker and definitely has my strong personality. I love watching Rowan discover life. It is incredible and amazing!


I am so thankful God picked me to the mother of this extraordinary baby girl! I love you forever Rowan!


Here is my monthly Rowan dump:

 

 

 

my own worst critic

Disclaimer:
This isn't a pity me post, believe it or not. Sorry in advance if it looks like this, but certainly this is not the intent.

Let's continue..

I think as moms we are our own worst critic. I sure am.

In Rowan's short 9 months of life, she has gotten 2 small colds, 2 big bouts of bronchiolitis, and a UTI.

Each time (besides the UTI) she has had an illness, an accusing, judgey voice in my head fills up space. I call this voice my own worst enemy.  In my head, I hear:



"she's sick because you couldn't breastfeed. She would be fine if she would have been breastfed"



Sigh, I know. Why the hell do I think and feel this? I know some of you are going to lecture me how I shouldn't even be thinking these emotions after so long, but friends, dem' thoughts are still there.
I threw in the disclaimer because I don't want pity or for you to feel sorry for me. I am posting this because I am in the process of kicking these negative thoughts out of my mind, and this one way for me to release it.



I am sure as mamas, you have one thing that you may have guilt over. Breastfeeding is mine. Most of y'all know my story. If not, read it here.





My experience was heartbreaking and painful. My heart still aches a little when I am in public and I see a woman whip out her boob to feed. I wish so badly that were me. I see breastfeeding groups on facebook, and I wish I could be part of that club. To this day, some milk comes out, oddly enough.  Nothing to even suffice, more like drops. I have even resorted to scooping that and giving it to Rowan.



I don't see this too often on facebook, but I have had friends/family post pictures that proudly state "I am superhero, I breastfeed" or "breast is best",   etc. I remember somebody commented "you go girl, keep giving them that boob. That's the only thing that's the best for them."



Ouch.



 Yes, they should be proud and happy! I should be happy too, which I am, but those things sting. I know it shouldn't. I should be able to read through that and scroll on, but instead, I read it and feel shame. It makes me feel like Rowan isn't getting the best, and I am not doing a good enough job. This is my enemy, my own worst critic talking. The thing is, I am doing a good enough job. Rowan is happy, thriving, and well taken care of. She is loved more than life itself, its properly looked after/fed/clothed. We work hard to provide an incredible, beautiful life. She is loved and adored by so many, it brings tears to my eyes. She is truly the happiest baby on the block. Why the f%$& am I still worked up over not being able to breastfeed?


Rowan's pediatrician gave me some validation without realizing it. I love her pedi. She is a preemie mama herself, and it makes her so relatable. She shared with me that breastfed or not, preemies have a tendency to get sicker than their termie friends. For whatever reason, this solidified that I didn't mess her up because I couldn't breastfeed. She was getting sick because that is just the way life goes. Babies get sick. Breastfed or not, this was going to happen.


So to my own worst critic, you can go suck it.

if you are still on the fence...

The other day, I was chatting with a sweet coworker/ friend of mine about kids. She was wondering how I do it in the mornings, dropping off a baby at preschool, driving 2 towns to work and still making it before the school bell.





She shared with me her fear of having kids, because quite frankly, her life was pretty decent how it is. Her fear is how life will dramatically change after having kids. She wondered if it was worth giving up her "freedom" so to speak.





As she was describing all this, it hit me hard because she reminds me of myself pre-Rowan. Before kids, we had a whole lot of fun. Brunches, going to the movies every week, weekly date nights, bar hopping/dancing in downtown with friends, wine tasting trips, spontaneous trips were basically our MO before Rowan. As most of y'all know I was extremely resistant to having kids. I had  LOUSY, TERRIBLE attitude about kids.  I am sure I offended some of my friends with kids because of my attitude. A lot of it was because I was so afraid of the massive life change.





A few days after our 4th wedding anniversary, I found out I was pregnant. We had barely tried for a month. I remember sitting in the bathroom laughing and crying at the same time. That's when I fell madly in love with the life that was within me.





Let me be straight. Don't rush having kids. Having kids does change your life. Anyone who says different is a lyin' fool. Your priorities and sleep shift, life is no longer the same. Parenting is hard. The newborn stage can be rough, at least it was for me.




HOWEVER....




That tiny human that you made from scratch will engulf your heart in a way that I can't even explain. Rowan has filled my heart with a joy I can't describe. For someone as selfish as me prior to her, I can't imagine life without her.




 Sure, its not like the movies. I didn't''t anticipate her early birth, the NICU stay was rough. I didn't anticipate I would have a very tough time in the beginning, and I MAJORLY had the baby blues. We have our good days, and our bad days. Her sicknesses have literally have made me almost have brain aneurysms.






HOWEVER...




this chubby, 22 pound human has captivated my heart and I haven't looked back since.






So, to my wonderful friend who is scared, trust me, it's worth it.