Happy 11 months Rowan!

Sigh, how did 11 months just fly by? I am in serious in denial that she is going to be ONE in just a few short weeks. Honestly, it makes me want to cry. I miss her tiny baby days!This is by far the craziest life change, but man, it has been amazing. I just love her!

Name: Rowan Decaris Potter

Rowan's age: 11 months old, 9.5 months adjusted age

Weight: 23.10 pounds, heading pretty close to 24 pounds! My big girl!!!!

favorite foods:
EVERYTHING, and I mean EVERYTHING. It amazes me all that she likes! She tried a pickle and didn't make a face. If anything, she got mad she didn't have more. This girl is very demanding when she eats and throws a fit if we don't feed her quickly. Oh child!

Clothing size: 24m is fitting just right. She's wearing 2T in pants and even some 2T in clothing. Dresses are more forgiving and she can sneak a 12m dress. Wearing size 4 diapers!
 

Rowan milestones (for her adjusted age, 9.5months):
 

-Rowan's vocabulary is starting to expand and while I obviously can't understand her, she is super verbal and  makes long sentences of blends. When she is crying, she clearly makes strings of sounds and definitely is trying to complain. She may not be the most physical baby, but she sure as heck can communicate!

-Rowan officially has 7 NOT 8 teeth like we originally thought, lol! 4 top ones and they are getting longer!

-Rowan is getting pretty good at going from lying down to sitting up! I heard that's a tough-ish milestone for babies!

-Rowan is even more confident with her standing and LOVES it. She is starting to gain more strength in her legs.

 

-Rowan went from giving backward open/close hand waves to full blown arm waves! So cute

-She is starting to shake her head no if you ask her something. ::Sigh::

-Little miss likes pulling up on things, but chooses to pull on light weight items (like laundry baskets lol). Oh child!

 
 Rowan loves: 
 

-Sofia the first! While at my sister's it happened to come on  and she screamed with delight. She watched it with rapt attention and could not be bothered.

-Drinking bath water. Gross!

-Loves to pull down shirts. I apologize to family and friends that have been subjected to Rowan's attempt to pull down your shirt, lol. If she succeeds, she loves to blow raspberries on your chest. Oh this child!

 

-Has a major affinity for dogs and horses. During her belated  9 month shoot in late February, we saw horses and she about flipped her lid. She loved the mama horse and her pony. She reacts this way with dogs. I think this means we need to buy her a pony and a puppy LOL!

 

-loves looking at the "other" Rowan. She loves any type of mirror and will scream with delight when she sees herself. Conceited much?? LOL. She also LOVES to kiss herself, it freaking cracks me up!  

Rowan doesn't like:

-waiting for anything. LOL. She is so impatient!
-still hates being left alone, even for a second
-gets angry if you take something away from her

New things/happenings this month:

-Rowan went to her first high school swim practice and swim meet! This was so fun and OF COURSE I documented. Hubby and I were heavily into swim team and water polo, especially hubby. He was all American all through high school and college and was constantly in the paper. He has coached swimming for over 20 years. SO...guess what sports we want her to play?? We jokingly say she is going to carry on the "Potter swim legacy" LOL!!! Rowan has now gone to 2 practices and loves seeing the water splash and watching the kids. She at first didn't like the swim meet because it was VERY LOUD with the noise and buzzers. SHe gradually warmed up and ended up LOVING it!

 

-Rowan had pasta and of course gobbled it up.

 

-Rowan also tried the swings for the first time. I ashamed we haven't taken her sooner. We had to stuff blankets because she is so dang top heavy. At first she didn't know what to think but soon enjoyed it!

How is Rowan's spit up?: Practically non-existent!

 

Sleep:
Rowan is still on a great nap and sleep routine. I am so proud of the hard work we did with her! There are some nights where she may squeak but otherwise it's okay.

Rowan's personality so far: 
Rowan is my sassy sassafras! She loves people and is so insanely happy. She has a sassy personality when she's upset, which makes me worry for when she is 2, LOL! However, this girl can light up a room and makes my heart fill with such joy!


I am so thankful God picked me to the mother of this extraordinary baby girl! I love you forever Rowan!


Here is my monthly Rowan dump:

Let's be honest....

Finally feel comfortable writing this post, because as of now, I am ready.

When was pregnant, I was one of those "lucky" gals that didn't gain a ton of weight.  I made a lot of my pals annoyed (some who were pregnant) and I heard many "you are so lucky," etc types of comments. On the day I delivered, I got weighed and my grand total of pregnancy gain was 16 pounds. I know some of you are probably ready to leave, lol! HOWEVER... when I got pregnant, I was not at my ideal weight for my height, hence I couldn't afford to gain a jillion pounds. Don't leave yet!

Sigh, those pregnancy glory days. I miss being pregnant so incredibly much!!!!

A week after giving birth, I was back to my pregnancy weight. Hallelujah, the end. Right????

NOPE.

Cue in NICU, stress and craziness. The NICU was over 45 minutes away. We would have to invest a full day the hospital, as it was too hard to drive back and forth. Because of that, we ate out a lot. Still, the weight stayed off, kinda.

2 weeks later, we got released. For 2-3 weeks after, we ate pretty well, thanks to amazing friends and family who brought dinners over.


Then, once life began, that is where it went downhill. We were constantly eating out /take out. I was too tired to cook, and to be honest, feeling very, very overwhelmed. Once I started work, I was struggling on how to balance everything. I would cook at times, but instead, take out was much easier. I noticed the weight creeping back. However, I was too exhausted to work out, I just didn't care. I would snack on everything in sight, and wouldn't pay attention to what I was putting in my mouth.I was eating nothing but pure junk. I hardly was drinking water, because honestly, I can't stand it. We would eat out at least 3 times a week and wonder why money was tight at the end of the month.

Pic of me feeling/looking my worst. I see this pic and cringe. I had gained all the weight back and then some.

By the time Rowan was 9 months, I gained all of those 16 pounds back, plus some more. I was depressed. My clothes no longer fit, I was so sluggish by my poor eating, and I felt miserable. I was so embarrassed on how I looked to others, hated taking pictures because I felt fat. I would look at myself in the mirror and wonder what the hell happened. Every time we would eat all that unhealthy crap, a war was waging in my head. I wanted to change, but didn't want to do the work. I knew at the end of the day, clean eating and exercise was the ticket. I didn't have the desire to change till I saw a family member struggling with the same thing make a radical life change. That was enough to get me going.

I knew a the end of the day what I had to do. Not only did I want to lose weight, but I owed it to my daughter to set the example and be healthy for her.

I am still a little embarrassed to say what route I am doing to lose the weight. Don't worry, its nothing scary or bad. Just not 100%  I am ready to share that yet. However, it consists of MUCH healthier eating, exercise and accountability. I also got a fit bit, which is tracking my steps and activity. After a week and half of eating better, exercising,and daily drinking 80 oz of water, I have lost 4.8 pounds. I am so excited and proud! However, I FEEL mentally and physically better. It is amazing what true clean eating and drinking water can do to a person. I have cut out almost all junk (except for 1 cheat meal a week). Honestly, I am starting to not really miss it! I find myself more often reaching for fruit, which I never thought would happen! I feel alive, less sluggish and most of all, guilt free since I am putting good in my body. My goal is to lose at the VERY least 15 pounds by May. Not sure if that's not a big enough goal or a lofty one, but I am aiming for that. If I lose more, great!

I am also going to be experimenting a lot with healthy recipes and especially desserts. Don't be surprised if some pop up here and there! So, cheers to making changes and seeing results! Oh and new mamas (or anyone trying to be healthier), if you are in my boat, maybe we can try to keep each other accountable, etc??? Cheers to the healthy life!!

Happy 10 months Rowan!

10 months.

WHAT?!?!?!



Omg people, I can't even handle that this kid is heading towards 12 months. I am in some serious denial about it. We are enjoying every second of this insanely fast journey!








Name: Rowan Decaris Potter

Rowan's age: 10 months old, 8.5 months adjusted age

Weight: Holy tank baby...she weighs  22.8 pounds. She is HEAVY and sturdy! To be honest, I'm going to be sad when her chubbies melt away! She is so yummy!!! 

Solids?  Yeppers! We are now heading into the ever so trendy baby led weaning. She especially likes chicken and let's be honest, pretty much everything else.

Clothing size: Gulp, size 24, even venturing in 2T for pants! Her summer bathing suit is even 2T! She can still fit into 18 months, but we are heading down the 24 m path. Wearing size 4 diapers!

Rowan milestones (for her adjusted age, 8.5months):

Sigh, I need to be honest here. I am really having hard time with these damn milestones. Rowan isn't crawling and quite frankly, she's not that interested. She also isn't pulling herself up. Now, I know y'all are going to say "relax" and "go by her adjusted age" but its hard when even some 6 month old babies I know are crawling, some 9 month babes are walking, etc. Her physical therapist doesn't seemed too concerned.  However, when it seems like EVERYONE around you is going above and beyond, well, one can't help but worry. It also doesn't help that this weekend 2 ladies around my mom's age asked why she isn't walking yet. UGH.

-Despite her not crawling, she definitely moves. She slithers, slides, rolls and moves backwards on her belly. She IS (at times) getting on her hands and knees, but doesn't want to really move forward.

 

-While Rowan may not be physical, she is SUPER verbal. Besides "mama" and "Dada" she says "nananana" for banana and also says (at times) "mo mo" for more. She says a BUNCH of other random blends and sounds that leads me to believe we may have a true talker pretty soon. This makes me feel better.

-Rowan is cutting 3 teeth in the top front!! Her first front tooth is almost out, as well as one next to it. Her other front tooth is starting to make its way. Poor babe is trying to be such a trooper!

-Rowan doesn't pull herself up yet, but we have been standing her up against things. She will hold on and stand for a good 15-20 seconds before she plops down. She LOVES it, as this is something new to her.

 

-Rowan is doing a really good job at grabbing small food objects. I think this is in part that she loves to eat!



-Rowan loves to "wrestle" with objects. We have some big blow up toys and she has a big dolly. SHe will climb on top of them, roll over them, pull them on to herself, etc. It is quite funny to watch!


-Rowan is starting to give high fives. So cute!

 

 Rowan loves: 

-Baby Einstein! Now, people get so freaking judgey about TV but this is the ONLY way Rowan will take her daily nebulizer treatments (more on that below).  She will joyfully scream anytime the beginning music comes on. Its so cute!


-loves mum mums and cheerios! HOLY CRAP. We created a monster! If we go out to eat, we have to have a good supply on hand as that makes her happy and preoccupied!


-loves to clap at everything!


-also loves to drink out of straws

Rowan doesn't like:

-waiting for anything. LOL. She is so impatient!



-being left alone for a second. Often, (like most parents) we just need to drop something off in the sink or go put something away. Well, this girl isn't a fan of being alone and will totally cry. Oh Rowan...



-Rowan is getting to the stage where she gets upset if you take something away, like oh you know, chewing the curtains, etc. She gets so mad!

New things/happenings this month:

-We celebrated our first Valentine's day with her! Nothing especially out of the ordinary but we gave her a present and had lots of snuggles! Hubs and I were able to go on a date which was so nice!

-Rowan got a UTI. It was awful! She had a super high fever with ZERO symptoms. She ended up with antibiotics which helped tremendously. It was nerve wracking!



-At one of her appointments, it was brought up that she always seems to have constant wheeziness. One of the doctors recommended that we do breathing treatments every morning with a medicine called Pulmicort. In short, it's like taking blood pressure medicine so you don't have a heart attack. This has changed our lives! She still seems a bit wheezy at times, but the true test was when she caught a cold this month. Normally, its big, dramatic and usually turns to bronchiolitis. HOWEVER...this time it was a tiny, plain, regular ol' cold. It was amazing! We are thankful for this treatment!



-We recently got into the crazy trend of baby reps on instagram. There is a huge wave of baby clothing/accessories shops on IG (basically like etsy on IG). Shops will then open up for baby brand representatives. You takecute, styled pics of your baby and enter them in these searches. If you are picked, you get free merch in exchange for photos they use for marketing. After 3 weeks, Rowan got picked to be a brand enthusiast for Her_Bowtique! Its a lot of fun but its work! I basically try to just take pictures of her during the weekend.

How is Rowan's spit up?: Practically non-existent!

 

Sleep:
Rowan is on a great nap and sleep routine. It took work in the beginning but it paid off! And yes, I am furiously knocking on wood. I am SO thankful. I know a lot of babies even her age don't sleep through the night.

Rowan's personality so far: 
Rowan is Miss Personality. She is so sweet, joyful and loveable. She is also a major firecracker and definitely has my strong personality. I love watching Rowan discover life. It is incredible and amazing!


I am so thankful God picked me to the mother of this extraordinary baby girl! I love you forever Rowan!


Here is my monthly Rowan dump:

 

 

 

my own worst critic

Disclaimer:
This isn't a pity me post, believe it or not. Sorry in advance if it looks like this, but certainly this is not the intent.

Let's continue..

I think as moms we are our own worst critic. I sure am.

In Rowan's short 9 months of life, she has gotten 2 small colds, 2 big bouts of bronchiolitis, and a UTI.

Each time (besides the UTI) she has had an illness, an accusing, judgey voice in my head fills up space. I call this voice my own worst enemy.  In my head, I hear:



"she's sick because you couldn't breastfeed. She would be fine if she would have been breastfed"



Sigh, I know. Why the hell do I think and feel this? I know some of you are going to lecture me how I shouldn't even be thinking these emotions after so long, but friends, dem' thoughts are still there.
I threw in the disclaimer because I don't want pity or for you to feel sorry for me. I am posting this because I am in the process of kicking these negative thoughts out of my mind, and this one way for me to release it.



I am sure as mamas, you have one thing that you may have guilt over. Breastfeeding is mine. Most of y'all know my story. If not, read it here.





My experience was heartbreaking and painful. My heart still aches a little when I am in public and I see a woman whip out her boob to feed. I wish so badly that were me. I see breastfeeding groups on facebook, and I wish I could be part of that club. To this day, some milk comes out, oddly enough.  Nothing to even suffice, more like drops. I have even resorted to scooping that and giving it to Rowan.



I don't see this too often on facebook, but I have had friends/family post pictures that proudly state "I am superhero, I breastfeed" or "breast is best",   etc. I remember somebody commented "you go girl, keep giving them that boob. That's the only thing that's the best for them."



Ouch.



 Yes, they should be proud and happy! I should be happy too, which I am, but those things sting. I know it shouldn't. I should be able to read through that and scroll on, but instead, I read it and feel shame. It makes me feel like Rowan isn't getting the best, and I am not doing a good enough job. This is my enemy, my own worst critic talking. The thing is, I am doing a good enough job. Rowan is happy, thriving, and well taken care of. She is loved more than life itself, its properly looked after/fed/clothed. We work hard to provide an incredible, beautiful life. She is loved and adored by so many, it brings tears to my eyes. She is truly the happiest baby on the block. Why the f%$& am I still worked up over not being able to breastfeed?


Rowan's pediatrician gave me some validation without realizing it. I love her pedi. She is a preemie mama herself, and it makes her so relatable. She shared with me that breastfed or not, preemies have a tendency to get sicker than their termie friends. For whatever reason, this solidified that I didn't mess her up because I couldn't breastfeed. She was getting sick because that is just the way life goes. Babies get sick. Breastfed or not, this was going to happen.


So to my own worst critic, you can go suck it.

if you are still on the fence...

The other day, I was chatting with a sweet coworker/ friend of mine about kids. She was wondering how I do it in the mornings, dropping off a baby at preschool, driving 2 towns to work and still making it before the school bell.





She shared with me her fear of having kids, because quite frankly, her life was pretty decent how it is. Her fear is how life will dramatically change after having kids. She wondered if it was worth giving up her "freedom" so to speak.





As she was describing all this, it hit me hard because she reminds me of myself pre-Rowan. Before kids, we had a whole lot of fun. Brunches, going to the movies every week, weekly date nights, bar hopping/dancing in downtown with friends, wine tasting trips, spontaneous trips were basically our MO before Rowan. As most of y'all know I was extremely resistant to having kids. I had  LOUSY, TERRIBLE attitude about kids.  I am sure I offended some of my friends with kids because of my attitude. A lot of it was because I was so afraid of the massive life change.





A few days after our 4th wedding anniversary, I found out I was pregnant. We had barely tried for a month. I remember sitting in the bathroom laughing and crying at the same time. That's when I fell madly in love with the life that was within me.





Let me be straight. Don't rush having kids. Having kids does change your life. Anyone who says different is a lyin' fool. Your priorities and sleep shift, life is no longer the same. Parenting is hard. The newborn stage can be rough, at least it was for me.




HOWEVER....




That tiny human that you made from scratch will engulf your heart in a way that I can't even explain. Rowan has filled my heart with a joy I can't describe. For someone as selfish as me prior to her, I can't imagine life without her.




 Sure, its not like the movies. I didn't''t anticipate her early birth, the NICU stay was rough. I didn't anticipate I would have a very tough time in the beginning, and I MAJORLY had the baby blues. We have our good days, and our bad days. Her sicknesses have literally have made me almost have brain aneurysms.






HOWEVER...




this chubby, 22 pound human has captivated my heart and I haven't looked back since.






So, to my wonderful friend who is scared, trust me, it's worth it.

Happy 9 months Rowan!!!!

What a month it has been! 9 months have flown quicker than I would have liked. This month was huge for my precious girl. Each month she has achieved some sort of milestone or discovery, but this month, she truly blossomed. For example, she said "mama" and "dada" this month! She is going from my precious little infant to my big girl! I am a little sad about this!

To be honest, I cried the other day at the thought of her turning one. I LOVE babies, and I savored and loved this time of her life. I know I will never get it back. I also have been so nervous of the toddler years, which I have heard is HARD. Sigh, let's enjoy the present!


Here we go!




Name: Rowan Decaris Potter

Rowan's age: 9 months old, 7.5 months adjusted

Weight: This girl is huge and stands at 21.10 pounds of chunky goodness. I just love it so much, I just love chubby babies!! I can't get enough of her!

Solids?  Yes! This girl has LOVED every fruit and veggie we have given her, LOL!!!! Drinks four 6 oz bottles throughout the day.

Clothing size: 18 month clothing for this girl! She still wears some 12 months, but we are fitting much more nicely in 18. Size 24 months or 2T in pants, LOL! Those chubby thighs are no joke!  Still in size 3 diapers, but we might have to slowly transition to size 4 soon, as size 3 is a bit tight. Still the tiniest feet in the land!

Rowan milestones (for her adjusted age, 7.5 months):

-Rowan is THISCLOSE to crawling. She gets up and moves her legs up but hasn't totally mastered it. She did scoot backwards! To move, she slithers on her belly, roll super fast or will spin on her belly, LOL!  According to her therapist, she is right on track and kindly reminded me that some babies don't even crawl till 10 months, some don't at all! As much as I want her to achieve this milestone, I am not super rushing it as that means BABY PROOFING. Gulp.

 

-Rowan has always been very verbal, and babbles LOUDLY AND CONSTANTLY. However, she said "Dada" and "Mama" very clearly this month. It could be chalked up to babbling, but during a shopping trip at Target, she looked right at me and said "mama" with a smile. This makes my heart so happy!!!

-Rowan is starting to clap! When she sees something she likes or gets excited, she will clap her hands together. It's so precious!

 

-Rowan is also starting to wave. If you wave at her, she will lift her hand and will try to wiggle her fingers.

-Rowan "dances" when held, lol. She will bounce up and down and move her tushy, lol. 

 Rowan loves: 

-Any toy that plays music or lights up. She gets so excited!

-LOVES her wubnub paci. That thing has saved our lives so many times!

-any sort of lights. Christmas was so fun looking at lights and any type of light makes her squeal

-she loves being outdoors and in public. She loves watching people, and gets easily intrigued by everything.

-she loves her big ol' baby doll. She got one from my mom for Christmas and adores it! She thinks big ol' baby is real, lmao!

Rowan doesn't like:
-the dreaded nose Frida. Her mortal enemy.

-LOUD NOISES. Despite being a super loud girl herself, she doesn't LIKE any shrill, loud noises.

 

New/fun things we did this month:

-We did an overnight trip to the bay and met up with my bff and her family. It was so fun and Rowan did a great job! I am so thankful she loves to travel!

-CHRISTMAS! Gosh it was so fun!

Honestly, not a whole ton, as Rowan ONCE AGAIN caught bronchiolitis. SIGH! However, I feel we caught it early and since we knew how to treat it, it didn't seem so severe. Despite being sick, this girl is a trooper!

How is Rowan's spit up?: Practically non-existent!

 

Sleep:

Sleep has been disrupted because she has had many coughing fits at night that wake her up. Poor babe! We are now back on track and she sleeps straight through from 7:30-5:30, sometimes 6 am. I am so happy about this, but makes for tough weekends when she doesn't get the memo that we don't have to be up that early. Oh well, not complaining! 

 Naps?

3 naps, a short AM nap (40 minutes), a mid morning nap that lasts about 2 hours, and 1 late afternoon nap (30 minutes-1 hour)

 
Rowan's personality so far: 
Rowan is seriously such a good baby! She is super easy going and goes with the flow, just like her "dada". Despite she is a mover and shaker, she is so cuddly. I try to savor those cuddles and nibble those yummy cheeks!  I am so thankful to be the mother of this fabulous baby girl!

My Rowan dump:

A Christmas break recap...

It should come to no surprise I'm blogging this over 3 weeks late. SIGH.

Christmas was amazing! One of the major perks of working at my particular district is we get 2 glorious weeks off!!! Those two weeks were spent cuddling/kissing the crap out of Rowan, sleeping in (yes, more on that later), relaxing, and spending time with family and friends. Best of all, enjoying the wonderful holidays!

Our first week of break we did a overnight trip to the bay area, met up with my best friend and her beautiful family. They were visiting from Texas, so any time we get to see them it is super special! It was the first time our kids finally were able to meet! We were pregnant at the same time and both had girls! It was so awesome the babies could finally meet! SO fun!

The rest of the weekend was awesome, and Rowan was a great traveler!

 We came home and basically relaxed the rest of the week as we geared up for Christmas. One thing that was super awesome was that Rowan let us "sleep in" most of the break! I will admit, her schedule got pushed as she went to bed later than normal (8 rather than 7). Because of that, most mornings she would "sleep in" till 7:30, and few times she didn't get up till 8! IT WAS AMAZING. I never felt so awake and rested, lol!!!

Christmas Eve was amazing and we spent it with my side of the family. Rowan got the most precious, poofiest dress from Target! She looked just exquisite!:

We went to church and had THE MOST delicious feast after. The kids were just precious in their Christmas clothes!  Of course, I had to do a "photo shoot'' with my fancy camera . Since my blog is public, I'm not posting my sister's kids out of respect for their privacy. However, you get the idea.

After, the cousins and Rowan changed into coordinating Christmas jammies! We wanted matching ones, but boy, it was so hard to find! Rowan's jammies were a little snug but good heavens she looked so yummy with her little chubby rolls sticking out:

We all ended up in cozy jammies and opened gifts. Rowan loved it, BUT was clearly more interested in tissue paper and the wrapping paper!

Christmas morning was very low key. My sister, her family and my mom usually drive up to San Jose to spend it with my sister's in laws. My in law family usually goes to their perspective in law families, so usually its just my little family in town! I kind of don't mind, because as our family grows (MAYBE, don't get ideas!) it will be nice to just be home!  We got up around 8ish and opened gifts as a new family of 3. It was super fun and very special. I just can't wait for more Christmases with Rowan!!! She once again had a ton of fun opening gifts!

After gifts, Rowan went down for a nap and we felt tired as well. We all ended up taking a 2 hour nap! After we woke up, we all just snuggled in bed and watched Duck Dynasty. It was quite a hilarious sight! Usually on Christmas Day we go to the movies and get pizza or Chinese. Since we had Rowan, we obviously couldn't go, but we still kept our dinner tradition!

On the 26th, we got to have lunch and spend some quality time with my in law family. They are quite the hoot and super fun to be around. Rowan of course got lots of love, snuggles and gifts! We had a pizza lunch and then spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing with the family. The one thing that IRKS me is that I didn't take pictures! I left the fancy camera at home and my phone died! SIGH....
The holidays were super fun! It was seriously magical to see it through Rowan's eyes. Even though she probably didn't get what was going on half the time, it was still so fun!