Let's be honest....

Finally feel comfortable writing this post, because as of now, I am ready.

When was pregnant, I was one of those "lucky" gals that didn't gain a ton of weight.  I made a lot of my pals annoyed (some who were pregnant) and I heard many "you are so lucky," etc types of comments. On the day I delivered, I got weighed and my grand total of pregnancy gain was 16 pounds. I know some of you are probably ready to leave, lol! HOWEVER... when I got pregnant, I was not at my ideal weight for my height, hence I couldn't afford to gain a jillion pounds. Don't leave yet!

Sigh, those pregnancy glory days. I miss being pregnant so incredibly much!!!!

A week after giving birth, I was back to my pregnancy weight. Hallelujah, the end. Right????

NOPE.

Cue in NICU, stress and craziness. The NICU was over 45 minutes away. We would have to invest a full day the hospital, as it was too hard to drive back and forth. Because of that, we ate out a lot. Still, the weight stayed off, kinda.

2 weeks later, we got released. For 2-3 weeks after, we ate pretty well, thanks to amazing friends and family who brought dinners over.


Then, once life began, that is where it went downhill. We were constantly eating out /take out. I was too tired to cook, and to be honest, feeling very, very overwhelmed. Once I started work, I was struggling on how to balance everything. I would cook at times, but instead, take out was much easier. I noticed the weight creeping back. However, I was too exhausted to work out, I just didn't care. I would snack on everything in sight, and wouldn't pay attention to what I was putting in my mouth.I was eating nothing but pure junk. I hardly was drinking water, because honestly, I can't stand it. We would eat out at least 3 times a week and wonder why money was tight at the end of the month.

Pic of me feeling/looking my worst. I see this pic and cringe. I had gained all the weight back and then some.

By the time Rowan was 9 months, I gained all of those 16 pounds back, plus some more. I was depressed. My clothes no longer fit, I was so sluggish by my poor eating, and I felt miserable. I was so embarrassed on how I looked to others, hated taking pictures because I felt fat. I would look at myself in the mirror and wonder what the hell happened. Every time we would eat all that unhealthy crap, a war was waging in my head. I wanted to change, but didn't want to do the work. I knew at the end of the day, clean eating and exercise was the ticket. I didn't have the desire to change till I saw a family member struggling with the same thing make a radical life change. That was enough to get me going.

I knew a the end of the day what I had to do. Not only did I want to lose weight, but I owed it to my daughter to set the example and be healthy for her.

I am still a little embarrassed to say what route I am doing to lose the weight. Don't worry, its nothing scary or bad. Just not 100%  I am ready to share that yet. However, it consists of MUCH healthier eating, exercise and accountability. I also got a fit bit, which is tracking my steps and activity. After a week and half of eating better, exercising,and daily drinking 80 oz of water, I have lost 4.8 pounds. I am so excited and proud! However, I FEEL mentally and physically better. It is amazing what true clean eating and drinking water can do to a person. I have cut out almost all junk (except for 1 cheat meal a week). Honestly, I am starting to not really miss it! I find myself more often reaching for fruit, which I never thought would happen! I feel alive, less sluggish and most of all, guilt free since I am putting good in my body. My goal is to lose at the VERY least 15 pounds by May. Not sure if that's not a big enough goal or a lofty one, but I am aiming for that. If I lose more, great!

I am also going to be experimenting a lot with healthy recipes and especially desserts. Don't be surprised if some pop up here and there! So, cheers to making changes and seeing results! Oh and new mamas (or anyone trying to be healthier), if you are in my boat, maybe we can try to keep each other accountable, etc??? Cheers to the healthy life!!